who?them?sorry,i dont know them..

it all started when dad gave a call at night,when im watching the television.
asking me why i didn’t join kak ida and kak ani to aus birthday celebration.
i was like “huh?celebration?when?”
and he answered they just finished celebrating

OMG!what’s wrong with them?
then,i started to msged kak ani saying that “asal pegy umah mak celebrate birthday aus kat umah mak tk bilang?hine sgt ke muke ni smpai kak ida tk nk tngok?”
i was frustrated and at the same time feeling upset.
why they didint tell me anything?

then.kak ani reply saying”aku pun tk tau.they just call me and asked me to come.so i did.eh,yg kau nk bising2 ngan aku ni knape?msg kak ida ar trus.tk buang current.knw whr is ur manners sal”
WTF .DOES SHE KNOW HOW TO READ?
after that i msged kak ida asking why.
what i get in reply was,vulgarities(frm kak ani) and kak ida’s only reply was(though i sent her a few different msges) “kau tau manners ke kau da lupe?know your manners”

ok what i sent her was “why you didnt tell me you and the rest celebrate birthday?hine sgt ke nk bilang?”
is it too much?way too much?

actually kak ani msged me alot,but i cant remember,just can’t be bothered to remember or keep in my inbox.
she called me,asking what’s my problem towards her and asking why now i ask for her+ kak ida..
hello..come on..before this its the same,you and kak ida simply cant be bothered about me.even before i got to know norfi(fuck u!)
and abg fhirzan msged me,told me that “nobody is looking down at anyone.if u feel that way,there is nothing we can do.u cantell this to whoever is concerned-abg fhirzan”
is he trying to help or not?cause it doesnt hep at all..
i asked him”i just wanna knw why,and she did not reply my msges since the day that i came down to ur house..”
he rplied,”i told her not to reply..”
WTF!!!!
And i reply”ok.then tell me why..
he reply again”1st of all,let me emphasize that nobody is looking down on anybody.but each individual has thier own mindset and thoughts.to u maybe doing a particular thing is ok..but to kak ia is not ok.so who is right or who is wrong?the answer is NOBODY as like i said evrybody has their own views.so conflict will arise if both individualcannot reach a compromise.so to resolve this conflict i told kak ida to mind her own business as i dont want to get her stressed anymore.i think she tried her best.”

is he trying to break us up??!GTH!
i repled”well said thanks.won’t disturb her again and don’t invite me if u dont wish”
abg izan reply”of cause its well said.coz i have to o thru the pain seeing her stress again and during pregnancy.u may see me or her smile but that’s only on the surface”
hah!whatever…..

there’s a few morw msges that abg izan sent me but i just cant be bothere to reply to those cant be bothered about me..
so now..i only know mom,dad,me etc,exclude kak ida n aabg izan n “my beloved sister-kak ani”

ok..now u know the story..
i warn u,dont u dare to msg them anymore,because I DON’T KNOW THEM!

I HAVE YOU NW,U CAN MAKE ME HAPPY.U CAN GUIDE ME.ALL I NEED IS U NOW..

IM SORRY IF I SHOUT AT U ETC..IM SORRY..
LOVE U..

ROTI PRATA TELUR WITH SAMBAL BELACAN??

OH GOSH!

HAHA…!I CANT STOP MYSELF FROM LAUGH MY ASS OUT WHEN THAT LIL'”CUTE” INDIAN MAN OFFER MY SIS SAMBAL BELACAN WHEN SHE ASKED FOR SAMBAL TUMIS AND FOR THE FACT THAT THE SAMBAL TUMIS IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE THAT HOUR..

UNCLE,JUST THINK FOR A MOMENT…….WILL YOU EAT ROTI PRATA TELUR WITH SAMBAL BELACAN??

GOSH!THE SCENE KEPT PLAYING IN MY MIND.ABG WAS STUNNED.KAK ANI STOPPED EATING,I WAS DRINKING MY TEH TARIK WHEN HE OFFERED THE SAMBAL BELACAN..IT DOESNT END THERE..HE WAS SO EAGER TO PROVIDE THE BEST SERVICE HE COULD TILL HE WENT TO THE KITCHEN TO CHECK IF THERE IS ANY SAMBAL FOR KAK NOR..SAMBAL BELACAN OUT,NEXT WAS SAMBAL NASI AYAM..GOSH!HIS FACE WAS INNOCENT!GOD!I KEPT SLAPING KAK NOR’S ARM SEYH!TAK TAHAN BABE!

AND THAT UNCLE CAN EVEN SMILE TO US WHEN HE SAW US LAUGHING AWAY,HOLDING THAT PLATE,HE ASKED AGAIN “SO WHAT SAMBAL DO YOU WANT NOW?”

TIRED OF LAUGHING,WE WHEN HOME,CANT STOPPED LAUGHING.BUT AFTER WE SAW A POLICE WE QUICKLY FASTERN OUR SEAT BELT AND KEPT QUITE WHILE LISTENING TO THE MUSIC..

END OF STORY

HAH!THANKS UNCLE!YOU’VE MADE MY DAY LA!

SUDOKU,BF,GF,FOOD,CHOC,SILAT AND FAMILY

TAUGHT MY SISTER HOW TO PLAY SUDOKU..AND NOW BOTH OF US ADDICTED TO SUDOKU N TAKING TURNS TO PLAY USING PSP..THOUGH IT MAY SOUND WEIRD AND SEEMS DIFFICULT,ONCE U GET HAND OF IT,U’LL ENJOY IT.BUT I’LL ALWAYS GET HEADACHE AFTER I PLAYED ABOUT 2 OR 3 GAMES..ITS THE FEELING OF SATISFACTION..HAHA

NOW,IF IM BORED,OR WAITING FOR HIS CALL OR MSG,I WILL PLAY SUDOKU..!HAHA!ITS TIME TO EXCERSICE MY BRAIN..HAHA..

NOW,ABOUT BOYFRIEND..

MET HIM YESTERDAY BEFORE HE WENT TO WORK,I PASSED HIM HIS ANNIVERSARY GIFT,THE 50X70 FRAME,FILLED WITH THE MOVIE TICKETS WE WATCHED TOGATHER..

BIG ARH..HAHA!I WRAPPED IT WITH PAPER AND DECO IT WITH HEARTS..LAME UH..BUT NVM..FOR HIM..

HE WAS SPEECHLESS.WHY?I DONT KNOW,ITS NOTHING SPECIAL..ITS SOMETHING THAT I THINK WE NEED TO KEEP AND TREASURE..RIGHT HONEY..

ITS A SMALL GIFT..HOPE U LIKE IT..

GIRLFRIENDS KEEP ASKING HOW AM I,AND HABE BEEDN ASKING ME OUT.I AM SORRY BABES..I AM BROKE RIGHT NW.END OF THE MONTH CAN?WELL YEAH..MISS THOSE CRAPPY TIMES,NAMES WE CALL EACH OTHER,THE CAMWHORING MOMENTS ETC..THOUGHT WANNA WATCH MOVIE WITH U ALLOR MAYBE WE GO KARAOKE OR SOMETHING?REMEMBER THE THINGS WE WISH WE CAN DO/GO?HAHA!HOPE WE WILL ONE DAY..INSYA’ALLAH..

TALKING ABOUT MOVIES..THOUGHT WANNA WATCH MOVIE WITH SIS ATIQ..BUT IM BROKE!!HUHU..MOREOVER MOST OFTHE MOVIE I ALREADY WATCHED..HMM..SHALL WAIT FOR NEW MOVIES..

CHOCHOLATE!CHOCHOLATE!THAT’S ALL I WANT..!HAHA..BEEN EATING A LOT OF CHOCOLATE SEY..AND I GAINED WEIGHT..ERGH!NVM..IM HAPPY NOW.WITH MY LOVED ONES..MUACH!

BTW I MISS THOSE TIME WHERE THE SPOTLIGHTS ON ME..I MEAN WHILE IM DANCING..I WISH I CAN GO BACK TO THE DANCEFLOOR,BUT SADLY ENOUGH,MY CREW BROKE OFF..SO NO ONE TO DANCE WITH..I’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A NEW GROUP..NOT RECRUTING BUT I WANNA JOIN OTHER CREW.

I MAYBE I WANNA GO FOR A NEW SILAT GROUP..HMM..DONT KNW HOW..MAYBE CONTINUE,SINCE EVERYONE KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME AND NORFIRDAUS..TALKING ABOUT NORFI.HE IS NOW IN SGH.I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF SICKNESS BUT YEAH..IT SEEMS THAT HE DONT WANNA ME TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM..ITS OK..I AM NOT HERE TO BE ENEMY TO ANYONE..

AND ABOUT MENDAKI..I DONT KNOW..MAYBE WANNA G TO 4PM..

HEHE..

I THINK ITS ABOUT TIME TO CHANGE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE..CHANGE N LET THE PASS BE MEMORIES..

NOW LETS TALK ABOUT FAMILY..

KAK IDA HAD HER MISCARRIAGE.ITS A PURPOSE MISCARRIAGE.DOCTOR ADVISED HER TO,BECAUSE THE BABY WAS OUTSIDE THE WOMB AND IT MAY LEAD TO DEATH IF SHE STILL WANT TO CONTINUE.THE DOCTOR SAID SHE WAS NOT STRONG.I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE DOCTOR MEANT.NOW SHE FEELS STRESS AND DEPRESS..BEEN RESTING AT HOME..I PUTY HER.BUT SHE LIKE DONT WANT TO TALK AND EVEN REPLY TO MY SMS…I AM SORRY KAK IDA..I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU..

KAK ANA IS BACK..INSYIRAH IS BACK..BOTH OF THEM IS SAFE..HAHA!MIA FOR ABOUT 1 MONTH..NOW EVERYTHING OK.,

WHILE OTHERS OK..NOTHING MUCH TO SAY..

ME?LIKE THIS NO CHANGES..BUT LATELY MY MOOD SWING IS GETTING TERRIBLE..FIFI..IM SOO SORRY..AND TO OTHERS IM SORRY IF I HAVE BEEN LIKE A STEP MOTHER TO U ALL,SHOUTING TO U ALL..HEHE..

OK THAT’S ALL..

ITS SUDOKU TIME..HEHE..

LOVE U ALL..MUAH!

LETS GET IT STARTED!!!~AWWWW…

LETS GET THE PARTY STARTED!!

I LOVE U..!!

CELEBRATED OUR ANNIVERSARY TOGATHER.IT WAS FUN.THANKS FOR EVERYTHING..

I CANT SAY ANYTHING..I LOVE U SOO MUCH..

TO MUHAMED NORFIRDAUS BIN MUHAMED ISMAIL…IM SORRY..ITS OVER..JUS MOVE ON OK.,

TO SIS ATIQ..ALL THE BEST..U HAVE MY SUPPORT OK..?LOVE U..

TO MUHAMAD FIRDAUS BIN ISHAK..I LOVE U SOO MUCH N WONT LET U GO..REALLY..TO ALL WHO KNWS WHAT HAPPEND TO US..THANK U FOR UR SUPPORTS..I LOVE U ALL..

NOW..LETS GET THINGS GOING AGAIN..START ALL OVER AGAIN..IM IN LOVE,LIKE THE FIRST TIME IM IN LOVE WITH U..MUACKZ!

INSYA’ALLAH IF GOD PERMITS WE GONNA BE TOGATHER ONE DAY..AMIN..

TO THOSE BITCHES~BACK OFF FROM MY RELATIONSHIP.FIND UR OWN HAPPINESS N UR OWN MAN.

im sorry

SORRY..I THINK WE ARE IN THE DIFFERENT PATH NOW..

U JUST HAVE TO DO YOUR OWN THINGS AND N I DO MINE.

I DONT WANT TO HURT U ANYMORE.

I M TIRED.I APRRIECIATE WHAT U HAVE DONE TO ME.IM SORRY..

LIFE HAVE TO MOVE ON.IM SORRY IM NT FOR YOU.

I LOVE U.

BUT IS NT LIKE BEFORE.ITS FADED.I THINK I CANT TAKE IT ANY LONGER.THE SCAR IN MY HEART CAN NEVER HEAL.I MAY LOOK FINE BUT INSIDE NO.I CANT KEEP DENYING TO MYSELF,TO LOVE U WHEN IM NOT.YES U HAVE CHANGED BUT ITS TOO LATE.IM HAPPY COZ UR FAMILY FINALLY CAN ACCEPT U IN THE RELATIONSHIP.SO U JUST FINE OTHER BETTER GIRLS OK HONEY..?THANKS FOR THE TIME U’VE SPENT WITH ME,THE MONEY,THE TEARS.I LOVE U..U TAKE CARE..

ANYTHING FINE ME ONLINE.

I JUST DONT KNW WHAT TO DO.

LETS BE FRIENDS.
IM SORRY..

TELL ATIQ N PUTERI THAT I LOVES THEM.SOO MUCH.ITS JUST THAT THINGS DOESNT WORK OUT WELL.N SHALL MEET ALL OF U WEN IM FREE OK.?

I LOVE U FI.

I LOVE ATIQ.

I LOVE PUTERI.

IM SORRY..

LET GO BABEYH!

I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU!I LOVE YOU..

I DONT KNW WHY I START TO MISS U EVERY NOW AND DEN.WE ARE REACHING OUR FIRST YEAR ANNIVERSARY..LOOKING FORWARD FOR THAT DAY..(ACTUALLY THE DAY AFTER OUR ANNIVERSARY,1 DAY LATE BECAUSE I DONT WANT HIM TO SKIP HIS SCHOOL JUST BECAUSE TO CELEBRATE OUR ANNIVERSARY..PFFT!)WHAT YOU TOLD ME IS TRUE.WE SHOULD START LOOKING FORWARD FOR OUR SECOND YEAR ANNIVERSARY WHEN WE REACH OUR 1YR 6 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY.AT THAT POINT OF TIME BOTH OF US WIL REFLECTS ON OUR MISTAKES AND OUR RESPONSIBILITIES IN ORDER FOR IT TO KEEP ON GOING SMOOTHLY.IM IMPRESSED.BECAUSE YOU HAVE THAT THINKING WHEN I DONT HAVE.MEMPERBAIKI PERHUBUNGAN ADELAH SATU CARE YG BAEK SUPAYE KITE LEBIH MEMAHAMI ANTARE SATU SAME LAEN DAN TAHU SALAH DAN KEBURUKKAN MASING-MASING.THAT’S MY MAN!I LOVE YOU!

COUNTING EVERY DAYS,EVERY SECONDS EVERY TICKS OF THE LIFE..

GOD!MY HEART BEATS FASTER AND FASTER..BUT ITS SLOWS DOWN EVERY TIME I THINK OF YOUR MOTHER.BUT ITS OK.THERE IS A SAYING..KALAU ADA JODOH TAK KN KE MANE..RYTE HONEY!?

SO NOW,IM READY TO FACE EVERYTHING.IM STRONGER DEN YESTERDAY(THAT DOESNT MEAN U CAN HURT ME AGAIN) ITS JUST THAT WHAT MY FRIEND TOLD ME IS TRUE.ABOUT MY LIFE.MY FUTURETO BE SPECIFIC ABOUT MAKING MYSELF AND OTHERS HAPPY..

THIS IS WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT THE OTHER DAY..MAKIN SENSE THOUGH..HERE IT GOES..

FRIEND:ok=)…….tell me seriously…….if u had ur choice izzit ur guy or ur life are important?? U prefer to be happy or making other happy…….?

ME:its a difficult choice..i want others to be happy.n i wan to be happy too…

FRIEND:Ya i noe that’s rite…….but does people noe that u’re happy by making them happy makes u feel more happy??? no rite…… Think bout it…..

ME:

hmm..u gt that point..

but..

shud we be selfish? 

FRIEND:

Not always………sumtimes u have to in order 4 u to be happy……

Smile from the heart is much more better than the smile on the face….get it?

WELL..HE JUST KILL MY WORDS..WHAT I MEANT BY THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE IS THINKING OF MY FAMILY,MY SCHOOL,MY JOB,MY LOVED ONES.AND INSYA’ALLAH.IF GOD PERMITS,I WANT TO START TO WEAR TUDUNG.THIS TIME ROUND I REALLY MEAN.NO ONE WILL EVER STOP ME AGAIN.

WELL BIBI..LETS GET GOING!

ITS A LONG WAY TO GO.I JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT,AND ALWAYS,ALWAYS PRAY FOR HIS BLESSING AND GUIDANCE.

SO NOW,I REALLY WANNA CHANGE.I HOPE PEOPLE WILL GUIDE ME.PEOPLE WILL ACCEPT ME.

TO MUHAMAD FIRDAUS.LOVING U ALWAYS BEEN PART OF ME.CARE ABOUT U IS ALWAYS BEEN MY JOB.TO STAY TRUE IS ALWYAS BEEN MY PROMISE AND MY NEEDS.I LOVE U SOO MUCH.

LET GO HONEY!LETS GET THINGS STARTED AND FOCUS ON OUR RESPONSIBILITIES.

TO ATIQ.THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.PREVIOUSLY I THOUGHT U WILL FOREVER HATE ME AND WILL NEVER TALK TO ME.BUT SIS.I REALLY LOVE TALKING WITH U.NOW I WILL NEVER BE ALONE CAUSE I KNOW U’LL THERE FOR MR,TO LISTEN TO MY MISERIES ETC THOUGH ITS SOMETIMES CRAPPY..

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF OK..LOVE U SIS..I DO..

TO EVERYONE.LET GO BABEYH!ITS NOT END OF THE WORLD YET.LET BE HAPPY!

BTW,BTW…I JOINED SILAT BACK!WOHOOO!!!I LOVE IT..I LIKE IT..IM GONNA GRAB THAT TITLE OF “SRIKANDI” AGAIN..!YEAH!..WELL..MY PRACTICE DAYIS ON FRIDAY..8PM TO 10 PM..OK LAH..GEREK..! ITS CALLED SENDENG SETURUT.WELL GERAK BAYANGAN SEE YOU SOON.TO AMIN.NASUHA AND ALIF,IM BACK BABEYH!!

NOTHING CAN CAHNGE ME THE WAY I LOVE U HONEY.NOTING CAN STOP ME THIS TIME.LOVE YOU.I DO.BOY!U REALLY KILLING ME!

new friend:thanks for everything.see you around.=)

*I ONLY GET JEALOUS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,AND I DONT WANT NOBODY ELSE TO HAVE YOU*

AND I THOUGHT, I WILL NEVER GO THROUGH ALL THIS AGAIN AFTER THE LAST,THAT U HAVE PROMISED,YOU WILL NEVER DO IT.HOW TERRIBLE I FEEL.HOW I WAS BEING FOOLED BY YOU AGAIN.

I WAS HELPLESS AND MY HOPE WERE VANISHED AT THAT POINT OF TIME.THINKING THROUGH HOW GREAT WAS YOUR ACTING IN FRONT ME,AS IF YOU DID NOTHING.

HOW GREAT IS ALLAH,TO SHOW ME YOUR DISHONESTY.AND I HOPE HE WILL PUNISH YOU FOR ALL YOU DID.NEITHER I WANT U TO SUFFER,HOWEVER I JUST NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS.

YES..I TOLD YOU THAT “I’M OK HONEY” ON THE OTHER HAND,ONLY ALLAH KNOWS BETTER.

MAYBE THIS IS MY WEAKNESSES,MAYBE THIS IS THE WAY I WAS BEING BROUGHT UP.I CANT REVENGE.I CANT BE ANGRY FOR TOO LONG.I SIMPLY CANT MAKE YOU TO FEEL SAD OR ANGRY.I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY,YUP.I MEAN,FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HOLD ON TO,ALMOST A YEAR NOW.BUT I SIMPLY CANT STOP THINKING WHY,WHY U KEEP DOING THIS.WITH THE NAME OF ALLAH,I REALLY MEAN,I STILL CANT FIND THE ANSWER FOR THAT QUESTION.

I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CANT PUT AWAY THAT TEMPTATIONS TO KNOW AND GET CLOSE WITH THOSE BITCHES,WHILE I CAN END THE RELATIONSHIP I HAD DURING WITH YOU,THE RELATIONSHIP I HAD WITH THAT ‘GUY’ FOR ALMOST 8 YEARS.

READ MY TITLE FIRDAUS.I REALLY TAKING THINGS SERIOUSLY.

I JUST DONT KNOW WHY,WHY EVERYTIME I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL THIS FACE TO FACE WITH YOU,MY TONGUE FEELS NUMB,MY LIPS FEELS HEAVY.

AND I HOPE THROUGH THIS,YOU UNDERSTANDS AND KNOW WHAT MY HEART FEELS..

**Lately, I’ve been tryna fight whatever’s pulling us under
it’s got a hold and really making me wonder
what it takes to get through
I gotta stick with you, my baby
Baby tell me:
Maybe I’m foolishly overreacting
But being without you I can’t imagine
It’s just to close to the heart and
And I won’t stand it if were broken apart
Oh No!!

Do you hear me?
Baby you gotta believe in the things that make you & me win together
Don’t you throw in the towel
I’m keeping my promise to you I got ya back now
When the chips are down and
It seems like it’s so hard for you to move ahead
Just know that I am by your side
there ain’t no ifs, buts, or maybes,
I’m gonna stay down and ride for you baby

We’ve been cutting it close with the backwards & forwards
This is rocking the boat; we gotta get control of this
Let’s take it back to three years ago
When you said that we could make it through whatever, ever
And to me it sounded like you meant forever, ever
Leaving was not an option, baby, never, never
Now don’t you believe in a love that’s worth a fight
In you is everything that I’m missing
So give us a chance

I’m gonna stay down and ride for you baby

Don’t you dare tell me we gotta let it go…
We been on top for too long just to let it go under
I don’t wanna hear that
I just can’t hear that
No
Wherever you wanna take me
I’ll go
I been with you for too long to start over with another
I know that you hear me
Just tell me you hear me

I’m keeping my promise to you I got ya back now

I’m gonna stay down and ride for you baby

*to muhamad firdaus,i dont know what else should i do,for you to trust my love and stay with..whatever happens,i still love you..*

**happy 11 months honey..nxt month gonna be our first year..love you so much..080707**

He’s my EVERYTHING when i am NOTHING

HOW SHOULD I START?MOSTLY I WANT TO SHARE HOW MUCH I MISS HIM.HOW LONELY I AM WITHOUT HIM OR EVEN HIS MESSAGES.I AM BORED.I WILL TRY MY TO BE STRONG AND HOLD BACK ALL MY TEARS.

OK.REASONS WHY I FEEL LIKE CRYING IS BECAUSE THINGS CHANGED RECENTLY.I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO MEET HIM AS OFTEN AS BEFORE.I KEEP THINKING WHAT HE HAD DID BEHIND MY BACK,THE GIRLS WHO HE CONTACTED WITH.WITH THE NAME OF ALLAH,I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AND WANTIG TO DIE WHEN I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT IT AND WHEN I FOUND OUT BY MYSELF.HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?TO THINK BACK,AND RE-TRACKING MY MISTAKES,I GAVE IN,MAYBE BECAUSE I HAD NEGLECTED HIM OR HE FELT BORED WHEN I WAS BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND DID NOT CALL OR MESSAGE HIM.

THOUGH WHAT HE DID TO ME,THE MORE I TRIED TO HATE HIM,THE MORE THE LOVE GROWS.I AM WEAK.WEAK WITHOUT HIM.WEAK IN THE INSIDE.EVERYTIME I PERFORM SOLAH,I WILL PRAY TO ALLAH,TO FORGIVE HIM,FORGIVE ME,BRING US CLOSER AND FULFILL OUR DREAMS.INSYA’ALLAH,WITH HIS BLESSINGS AND GUIDANCE,I WILL GO THROUGH THIS.

ENOUGH OF HIS BAD DEEDS.NOW ABOUT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF HIM,HE ALWAYS KNOW IF I AM FACING PROBLEMS OR DIFFICULTIES.HE WILL CONSOLE ME.HE WILL LISTEN TO ALL AND REASSURE ME THAT THINGS WILL BE JUST FINE.

EVERYTIME I TELL HIM THAT I AM BORED OR FEELING DOWN,HE WILL CHEERS ME UP.HE NEVER FAILS TO BRIG SMILES BACK ON ME.

WELL,FROM ALL THE MEN THAT I KNOW,HE IS DIFFERENT.HE KNOWS HOW O TREAT ME.HE KNOWS HOW TO CONSOLE ME.HE KNOWS WHAT HE SHOULD DO,ALL THE DO’S AND DONT’S.HE KNOWS ALL MY DISLIKES AND LIKSES.HE WILL NOT DO ALL THAT I DO NOT LIKE.(SOMETIMES=P)HE KNOWS HOW TO TEASE ME BUT IN THE SAME TIME TO BRING THE SMILES BACK.

FROM THE START OF THE RELATIONSHIP,I KNOW,THIS RELATIONSHIP CAN GO FAR.I TRUST HIM.I LOVE HIM.BUT WILL HIS PARENTS ACCEPT ME?I’M AFRAID NOT.I KNOW I DID MISTAKES IN THE PAST.AND HE KEPT SAYING THAT HIS PARENTS WILL ACCEPT ME ONE DAY,HE KNOWS,BECAUSE ITS HIS PARENTS.BUT WHAT IF IT DIDNT HAPPEN?HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO CONTINUE MY LIFE?WILL HE KEEP HOLDING ON TO THIS RELATIONSHIP THOUGH THERE’S NO BLESSINGS FROM HIS PARENTS?

*IEVERY SINGLE TEARS THAT FLOWS,I PROMISE I’LL CRY TOO..*—-SUDDENLY,ITS APPEARS IN MY MIND.HONEY,I AM MISSING YOU BADLY..TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY YOU LEFT,NOT EVEN 24HR YET.I DONT KNOW IF I CAN COPE THIS.

NOW,IT PROVES THAT WITHOUT YOU,MY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE.

I’LL PRAY FOR YOUR WELL-BEING,COE BACK IN ONE PIECE,ALIVE,AND HOPE YOU HAVING FUN.

*firdauSalbiah*

ok..now the quiz..(sis..i do it because of u*winks*)

1.do you want to feel the way you are now in the future?

no i dont wish to.it is killing me softly.OHH!help!

2.who is important to you?friends or boyfriend?

both.depends on the situation.both equally important=)

3.who is the person i trust most?

trust MOST.my sis,sis yani.she knows everything.and of course my honey,firdaus.

4.do you think you have enough confidence?

hmm..in wat sense?again,depends how the situation like.different situation different confidence level.

5.do you like jay chua?

who is this person?heard of this name among the chinese gals,BUT who is this person??

6.do you believe in seeing the rainbow after a rain?

hmm..nope..used to be.when i was young.is there still rainbow out there?hmm…

7.what is your goal

hmm..goal.respond,respect and relax.its so long to explain why i chose that as my goal.

8.do you believe in eternity love?

well yea!if not,why am i in love with him and have dreams of our own?

9.have you broken someone’s heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?

oh gosh!that’s chronic!alhamdulillah,none.

10.what feeling you love most?

to make others happy and they apprieciate what i’ve done.

11.what are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

requirements.with the S there..hmm..LOVE,RESPECT,TRUST,LOYAL,RESPONSIBLE,HONEST and UNDERSTANDING.also,he must not be a HOT-TEMPER GUY.but too bad.he’s one.*wink*

12.list out 5 best friends of yours. (no ranks)

atiqah,yati,ifah,shikin and fajarhan

13.are you lame?

hmm..random..nope..sometimes..when boredom strikes..nyahaha!

14.what do you think is the most important thing in your life?

in character wise,confidence.others is my handphone.

15.do you love your teacher?

hmm..not all..i love mr tan heng loon!and my class advisor(current),miss julie.she’s the best.

16.how sure are you of your life?

not so sure.like what iqa wrote,i’ll complete this nursing course in 2010.=)

17.what have you done to please yourself?

compliment.only me myself can.haha!and wish that i have enough money to go for a spa.

18.if time were to rewind,when will you want it to be?

no.i have enough of the past.i dont wish to rewind it.its painful.

19.name one person you are madly in love with

ahh!i like this qn..!ehem2..MUHAMAD FIRDAUS BIN ISHAK!

20.what do you want the most now?

i want him!i want him.i want his msg.i want him!ergghh!*sobsob*

Instructions:remove one question from above and add in your personal question.make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.list them out at the end of the post.notify them in their cbox that they have been tagged.whoever does the tag will have the blessings from all.

hmm..now people..the lucky 8 people are:

1.firdaus!

2.atiqah!

3.yati!

4.shikin!

5.fajarhan!

6.niece raudah

7.ifah!

8.sis wati

im done..

bu nt my mind keep thinking of him..

stil trying to hold back my tears..

missing him..

take care honey..i love you.missing u soo much..ur sweater is nt enough.cant wait to meet u..love you..

*bibi dee signing out*

love,

bibi_fibi

he is my EVERYTHING when i am NOTHING

HOW SHOULD I START?MOSTLY I WANT TO SHARE HOW MUCH I MISS HIM.HOW LONELY I AM WITHOUT HIM OR EVEN HIS MESSAGES.I AM BORED.I WILL TRY MY TO BE STRONG AND HOLD BACK ALL MY TEARS.

OK.REASONS WHY I FEEL LIKE CRYING IS BECAUSE THINGS CHANGED RECENTLY.I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO MEET HIM AS OFTEN AS BEFORE.I KEEP THINKING WHAT HE HAD DID BEHIND MY BACK,THE GIRLS WHO HE CONTACTED WITH.WITH THE NAME OF ALLAH,I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AND WANTIG TO DIE WHEN I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT IT AND WHEN I FOUND OUT BY MYSELF.HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?TO THINK BACK,AND RE-TRACKING MY MISTAKES,I GAVE IN,MAYBE BECAUSE I HAD NEGLECTED HIM OR HE FELT BORED WHEN I WAS BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND DID NOT CALL OR MESSAGE HIM.

THOUGH WHAT HE DID TO ME,THE MORE I TRIED TO HATE HIM,THE MORE THE LOVE GROWS.I AM WEAK.WEAK WITHOUT HIM.WEAK IN THE INSIDE.EVERYTIME I PERFORM SOLAH,I WILL PRAY TO ALLAH,TO FORGIVE HIM,FORGIVE ME,BRING US CLOSER AND FULFILL OUR DREAMS.INSYA’ALLAH,WITH HIS BLESSINGS AND GUIDANCE,I WILL GO THROUGH THIS.

ENOUGH OF HIS BAD DEEDS.NOW ABOUT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF HIM,HE ALWAYS KNOW IF I AM FACING PROBLEMS OR DIFFICULTIES.HE WILL CONSOLE ME.HE WILL LISTEN TO ALL AND REASSURE ME THAT THINGS WILL BE JUST FINE.

EVERYTIME I TELL HIM THAT I AM BORED OR FEELING DOWN,HE WILL CHEERS ME UP.HE NEVER FAILS TO BRIG SMILES BACK ON ME.

WELL,FROM ALL THE MEN THAT I KNOW,HE IS DIFFERENT.HE KNOWS HOW O TREAT ME.HE KNOWS HOW TO CONSOLE ME.HE KNOWS WHAT HE SHOULD DO,ALL THE DO’S AND DONT’S.HE KNOWS ALL MY DISLIKES AND LIKSES.HE WILL NOT DO ALL THAT I DO NOT LIKE.(SOMETIMES=P)HE KNOWS HOW TO TEASE ME BUT IN THE SAME TIME TO BRING THE SMILES BACK.

FROM THE START OF THE RELATIONSHIP,I KNOW,THIS RELATIONSHIP CAN GO FAR.I TRUST HIM.I LOVE HIM.BUT WILL HIS PARENTS ACCEPT ME?I’M AFRAID NOT.I KNOW I DID MISTAKES IN THE PAST.AND HE KEPT SAYING THAT HIS PARENTS WILL ACCEPT ME ONE DAY,HE KNOWS,BECAUSE ITS HIS PARENTS.BUT WHAT IF IT DIDNT HAPPEN?HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO CONTINUE MY LIFE?WILL HE KEEP HOLDING ON TO THIS RELATIONSHIP THOUGH THERE’S NO BLESSINGS FROM HIS PARENTS?

*IEVERY SINGLE TEARS THAT FLOWS,I PROMISE I’LL CRY TOO..*—-SUDDENLY,ITS APPEARS IN MY MIND.HONEY,I AM MISSING YOU BADLY..TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY YOU LEFT,NOT EVEN 24HR YET.I DONT KNOW IF I CAN COPE THIS.

NOW,IT PROVES THAT WITHOUT YOU,MY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE.

I’LL PRAY FOR YOUR WELL-BEING,COE BACK IN ONE PIECE,ALIVE,AND HOPE YOU HAVING FUN.

*firdauSalbiah*

ok..now the quiz..(sis..i do it because of u*winks*)

1.do you want to feel the way you are now in the future?

no i dont wish to.it is killing me softly.OHH!help!

2.who is important to you?friends or boyfriend?

both.depends on the situation.both equally important=)

3.who is the person i trust most?

trust MOST.my sis,sis yani.she knows everything.and of course my honey,firdaus.

4.do you think you have enough confidence?

hmm..in wat sense?again,depends how the situation like.different situation different confidence level.

5.do you like jay chua?

who is this person?heard of this name among the chinese gals,BUT who is this person??

6.do you believe in seeing the rainbow after a rain?

hmm..nope..used to be.when i was young.is there still rainbow out there?hmm…

7.what is your goal

hmm..goal.respond,respect and relax.its so long to explain why i chose that as my goal.

8.do you believe in eternity love?

well yea!if not,why am i in love with him and have dreams of our own?

9.have you broken someone’s heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?

oh gosh!that’s chronic!alhamdulillah,none.

10.what feeling you love most?

to make others happy and they apprieciate what i’ve done.

11.what are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

requirements.with the S there..hmm..LOVE,RESPECT,TRUST,LOYAL,RESPONSIBLE,HONEST and UNDERSTANDING.also,he must not be a HOT-TEMPER GUY.but too bad.he’s one.*wink*

12.list out 5 best friends of yours. (no ranks)

atiqah,yati,ifah,shikin and fajarhan

13.are you lame?

hmm..random..nope..sometimes..when boredom strikes..nyahaha!

14.what do you think is the most important thing in your life?

in character wise,confidence.others is my handphone.

15.do you love your teacher?

hmm..not all..i love mr tan heng loon!and my class advisor(current),miss julie.she’s the best.

16.how sure are you of your life?

not so sure.like what iqa wrote,i’ll complete this nursing course in 2010.=)

17.what have you done to please yourself?

compliment.only me myself can.haha!and wish that i have enough money to go for a spa.

18.if time were to rewind,when will you want it to be?

no.i have enough of the past.i dont wish to rewind it.its painful.

19.name one person you are madly in love with

ahh!i like this qn..!ehem2..MUHAMAD FIRDAUS BIN ISHAK!

20.what do you want the most now?

i want him!i want him.i want his msg.i want him!ergghh!*sobsob*

Instructions:remove one question from above and add in your personal question.make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.list them out at the end of the post.notify them in their cbox that they have been tagged.whoever does the tag will have the blessings from all.

hmm..now people..the lucky 8 people are:

1.firdaus!

2.atiqah!

3.yati!

4.shikin!

5.fajarhan!

6.niece raudah

7.ifah!

8.sis wati

im done..

bu nt my mind keep thinking of him..

stil trying to hold back my tears..

missing him..

take care honey..i love you.missing u soo much..ur sweater is nt enough.cant wait to meet u..love you..

*bibi dee signing out*

love,

bibi_fibi

SORRY PEOPLE!!

OK PEOPLE..

IM SOOO SORRY FOR THE RUSTY ENTRIES.I WAS DAMN BUSY WITH SCHOOL,WITH THE HECTIC SCHOOL SCHEDULE N STUFF..ITS NOT EASY BEING A NURSE AFTERALL..

*APOLOGIES*

OK LETS START ANEW!

RECENTLY:

ERMM..I HAD PROBLEMS AMONG MY OWN FAMILY MEMBERS.SO I SHALL NOT REVEAL IT.LET ME AND MY FAMILY KNOW ABOUT THIS.

ME AND MY GUY HAD A PAUSE,TIME OFF.SO WELL..YEAH..THATS ABOUT IT..NOTHING MUCH..TOO MANY THINGS LA..

AND OH YES!

I WANT TO SHARE WITH U ALL..BEING A NURSE MUST BE BEUTIFUL IS IT?MANY ASKED ME ABOUT THE PERSONALITY.BUT SADLY ENOUGH NONE ASKED ME HOW GD/BAD THINGS AFFECTS ME WHILE IN THE PROCESS OF BEING ONE.

WELL..NOT EVERYONE HAVE THE LOOKS AND PERSONALITY.ITS CLEARLY SHOWS THAT THEY(MOSTLY GUYS)TAKES THINGS FOR GRANTED AND ONLY WANT TO BLEND IN IF THE NURSES ARE PREETY R GOOD LOOKING.(PSST:THE MALE NURSES IN MY SCHOOL MOSTLY HOT LA SEYH!)

BEING ONE,U NEED TO BE VERY DISCIPLINE.HAIR MUST BE NEATLY TIED UP,ALL FINGERNAILS MUST BE VERY SHORT,UNIFORM MUST BE WELL-IRONED,NO HUGGINGS IN PUBLIC,MUST BE VERY PUNTCUAL,MUST BE VERY TALKATIVE,MUST SHOWS GOOD EXAMPLE IN SCHOOL,NO SHOUTINGS(WHILE IN UNIFORM),NO RUNNING(IN UNIFORM),MUST BE ACTIVE ETC..THE LIST WILL GO ON..

ITS SOUNDS GREAT AND MANAGABLE.DON’T GET ME WRONG,I AM NOT TRYING TO GIVE A BAD IMPRESSION BOUT NURSING,BUT ITS A FACT.ITS A FIXED-UNIVERSAL RULE.

BUT..I CAN HANLE IT..SO FAR..ALHAMDULLILAH..

AND MANY PEOPLE ADD ME UP BECAUSE IM IN NURSING.WTF.IRRITATING SPECIES RYTE??

WELL,THOUGH THERE’S MANY HOT AND GOOD LOOKING GUYS OUT THERE,I STILL LOVE AND WILL FOREVER LOVE MY ONE AND ONLY BOYFRIEND,MUHAMAD FIRDAUS!

BTW NOW,CHANGE TOPIC..I MISS HIM LA..

DA LAME SEY TK JUMPE..JARANG..BILE ENTAH BLEH MEET DIE..

BTW,I CANT WAIT TO MEET ATIQAH..FIRST TIME KUAR..CANT WAIT..

AND!SHE WROTE SOMETHING THAT MAKES BLUSH.HAHA!

SHE WROTE OUTING WITH FUTURE SIS IN LAW,SIS BIBI..OH!!!THANKS SIS..BUT TILL,MALULAH!=)

LOVE U SIS!

KITE NGOK WAYANG OK DEARIE!?

MUST BE FUN KN?DEN I ACCOMPANY U OK SIS..?U KNW WAT I MEAN..=)

OK PEOPLE..THAT’S ALL.

TAKE CARE.LOVES*

BIBI DEE SIGNING OUT*

PEACE*